Empowering our children…dealing with racism through the eyes of a 5-year

Hi Friends, its being too long since we shared. I look forward to sharing even more  with you with you in 2010.

Today’s blogpost looks at a  5 -year old’s first encounter with racism. This was shared with me by The execumama,Mrs.Akilah Richards.  This video for me represents empowering our children with the gift of love , confidence  and forgiveness.  Thank God for her parents Mrs. Akilah Richards(www.execumama.com) and Mr. Kris Richards(www.vozvisual.com)

Please watch and share your perspective with us on : Scary little black girl.

May the Joy of the season be yours‏

May your heart be filled with the true joy and peace of Christmas.
 
Wishing you God’s special blessings for you and yours

Have a blessed 2010.

Unique Gift Choice for Christmas

Dear Friend,

As you and your colleagues consider gift choices for the Christmas season please see attached information regarding a gift that will touch the lives of children.

If you are in Jamaica, contact  (876)-968-3251/2 to place your order. If you are in USA,Canada, U.K. or the rest of the Caribbean, to order from amazon.com click here.

Kindly send this to your friends and family so that they may have the opportunity to purchase also.

Take the “Campaign For Kids” challenge…What have you done for them lately?

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately,  about what is happening in the world today and the impact on our children. S ometimes I think that their world is more challenging than the one we grew up in (maybe it is maybe it isn’t).

What concerns me really,  is the adults who throw up their hands as if all is lost.  Are we failing our childen? Folks we can’t afford to throw in the proverbial towel.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR THEM LATELY? What signals are we sending? Are we consumed with work and money, so much so that  our children become invisible. They keep hearing “not now honey Mommy/Daddy is busy “ Are we teaching them social responsibility and to care about others ?  Check  http://execumama.blogspot.com/2009/11/announcing-mini-footballers-project.html about the story of a 5 year old girl who is making a difference in a huge way. This is social responsibility at its best.

What about the children who are not in your esteemed circle do you ever reach out to them?. Do you ignore them because they are not as cute or as smart as your kids?

Just for today; think  of even one child you may know who is less fortunate and not just think about them  do something to change that.  It may just be  to say hello so they know they actually exist,  a smile or hug;  as trite as it might sound. It may be to give of your time(is there a child in your community-home, church or otherwise )who can’t read..maybe you can help or know someone who can. JUST DO SOMETHING!!!

Today’s pledge:  I promise to make a positive difference in at least one child’s life..other than my own

Share with us some of the things you are doing or thinking of doing to make a positive difference  for at least one child.

Lets take our country, our nation,  our world back .. One child at a time.

Special Event for Parents and Children in South Florida

The South Regional/Broward College Library will be hosting a discussion and book signing  with Carolien Aikman on her book “Prayers for School Days” .    Your invitation is attached. Bring your friends and other family too.

Date : October 24, 2009   Time : 2 p.m. I look forward to seeing  you

Back to School Blues? Colour it Happiness Instead

Armed with an oversized back pack (red of course – his favourite colour) with everything Crayola (Crayola crayons, Crayola smock, crayola play dough You name it,  he got it) a red lunch bag and a large igloo…….

Can you imagine how time flies? My son is now a prep school student.

I sound excited now, don’t I?  I must shamefully admit that initially I  had my fears about this day. When I talk to a lot of moms including those who have two and three kids already in prep school, you know what? They were just like me.

• Will the teacher understand my child?
• Will my child be bullied?
• Will my child make new friends quickly?
• Will she/he eat his lunch?
• Are there too many children in the class?
• It won’t be the same as preschool
• What is the bathroom like?
• Will someone watch him/her so she/he doesn’t get hurt on the playground?
• Will she/he give the teacher too much “lip” and get in a lot of trouble
• Will his/her  feistiness offend the teacher

It got worse as our children cried and clung to us the first week of school. It was just..just hard.

Lord, have mercy. Listen to us pathetic sounding Moms .Unfortunately Misery loves company.

You know it took the aunt of a friend to help me snap out of  joining the Moms of The Doom and Gloom club.. She just said. “Carolien, I am shocked at you of all people. Didn’t you pray about this?”. She did not need to say another word.. As she spoke my face burned  in shame.

I  had started to get caught up in negative thoughts  and NOT GIVE GOD THE GLORY and acknowledge that He is always in charge of my life and my child’s life . As Jamaicans would say “mi shame tree full”. But  I thank God that he is a forgiving God.  I just picture Him looking at me , smiling to Himself and shaking his head like an indulgent parent and thinking “when will my daughter  learn the lesson once and for all?”

Parents its time to grab your copy “Prayers For School Days” .

many little  prayers there which will help you and your children through the school term. Please pray especially for your children’s teachers; they have challenges everyday too;  yet they always have to remain pleasant and calm. The first prayer in “Prayers For School Days” is about blessing teachers. Do keep them in your prayers.

My friends, just remember in spite of what we are, God can and will turn our blues into happiness and fun.

Did I tell you that my son doesn’t even look back at me when he see his new teachers and friends?  This morning I kissed him and the child wiped his face in disgust.  How do I feel about this new –found  independence?. ..No Comment

Do  share some of you and  your children’s back to school experiences with us.

Meet my husband – Quality time 101(cont’d)

You know, a friend of mine recently had me thinking that there are a number of persons whether wife or husband , that get caught up in their children and forget about the spouse. Well dah.. when we talk about spending quality time with the family that must include having a steamy one-on -one time with your spouse too.. Stop blushing; I caught your attention!!. When was the last time you focused on your spouse?? When was the last time you “big up” your spouse. What makes your spouse special??.

Well, I will happily tell you what makes mine special, he is gorgeous he has great legs, he is good…OK, Ok I will stop, I won’t embarrass you or me.

Seriously though Bryan is a very special guy. He is my biggest champion and supporter, he is one of those quiet, brilliant type who can learn many things in the shortest possible time – His is truly a lateral thinker and great conceptualizer. Bry is extremely caring. One of the things I noticed when we dated some 14 years ago was how he always had kind word for people who had to serve others e.g. waiters/waitress, customer service reps/gardners etc. His take is that people just tend to treat them as underdogs.He is passionate about stopping victimization.

Bryan is a great listener and very thoughtful. Kids simply adore him. Our son Joel adores him. Joel recently told me he wants to be just like his daddy when he grows up. Bryan is extremely patient. I just love watching him with Joel.. When I am busy tearing my hair out atsomething or the other Joel has done or not done, Mr. Calm just steps in and resolves the situation and I wonder why I didnot try it that way. He is a great teacher.

Bryan is an talented musician -he plays the flute and he also sings bass on “The Praise Team” at our church.
What I love most about Bry is his humility. He is well-liked, well-known and respected by alot of people. Yet he doesnot even realize it. He is not the type to beat his chest. He has a forgiving nature- Bry is not one to hold a grudge. Bry is not a quitter. Even if he is down he is never out. He rises like a phoenix. I love his spontaneity and his boy-like charm. I love travelling with Bry. There is so much more I can say but in essence I love my husband and I am proud to be Mrs. Bryan Aikman.

Hey you all go love up your husband/wife. It makes for a stable,loving and fun family. More anon….

What’s the point of it all ? – Quality Time 101

“Lord have mercy, what have I done, let me just get to the bottom. Oh God I should never have tried this. Now I know I am really, really crazy!!!.”

Oh… that was just my silent screams as I plummeted down a 35-foot high, 250 ft –long waterslide at an all inclusive resort in the name of having fun and spending quality with my husband Bryan and our 3 –year old son Joel. I must have been mad I tell you!!

I closed my eyes hoping it would be over soon. As I hit the water with an undignified sploosh, and lots of coughing and sputtering; I heard Bryan and Joel laughing, with Joel shouting.. “Again mommy let’s do it again!!!.” You see, Joel and Bryan were having a blast going up and down this water slide adnauseum while I, the sacrificial lamb was just doing my token bit of “creating memories with my family” – I am only kidding it was a little daunting but not sacrificial at all.

Speaking of creating memories with your child – what kind of memories are you leaving with your child? . This is quite an important issue. Someone once said to me “Your children may not remember you for the things you give them or the money you spend, but they will remember the way you make them feel”.

Take some time out and enjoy your kids. It’s amazing how we can sometimes forget the real reason we are working hard at chasing the almighty dollar. We say it’s for our kids’ legacy (yes, that’s true) but what is the point if we only always seeing them in a horizontal position (They are asleep when we get home)? We get caught up in all the “busyness” of life. For some it’s the job, for others some charity work, for some it’s solving everyone else’s crisis and problems, for others its studies and I am sure you can name many more.

At my church two (2) Sundays ago the preacher spoke on the theme – Are you a caring person?. He made an interesting point which had a few people gasping in disbelief or surprise, I am not sure which. His point was… family should come before church. (Read 1 Timothy 5 vs 8).

I totally share his sentiment. Some of us are so occupied and preoccupied with church work that our children get left behind. This result is the same as not balancing your regular job with family. Remember our God is a caring God. God wants us to have balance. God wants us to raise well balanced, happy, socially responsible children. Is Quality Time, is fun time with you children a major priority? If not please work on changing it now !!. Please find the balance!

Share in our memories and plan to make your own…Soon

Moms, who is the best YOU?

Today I was reading the blog of one of the best mombloggers at www.execumama.blogspot.com and her post was entitled ”See Me Shine”.  In essence, she shared that she loves herself and what her best qualities were and dared us to do the same.  Thought -provoking, I dare say.  I thought long and hard,  ”should I do this?” My answer, Yes! Because if I truly love myself and know what I love about me then my spouse, children and others around will also get the best of me .  So here goes …no I am not narcissistic.  All I am saying is you can’t truly love others if you don’t love yourself. So CELEBRATE YOU !!!

 Below is who I am. Hit Reply and tell me: WHO IS THE BEST YOU?

O.K. I am giving this a shot. Here goes.  I am a beautiful black woman with a winning and engaging smile (a loud laugh to boot.)

I’m extremely curious, quite analytical and very smart which has made a very solution oriented woman. I am an extremely tolerant, non-judmental patient lady but very wise . This has helped me build an organization in which the staff feel nutured and want to always give of their best.

I am a fighter. I never give up. I am an eternal optimistic. I believe there is always something to learn from each experience. I strongly believe in treating people fairly.

I am passionate about empowering children and helping to make their lives a more wonderful and positive experience.

I embrace change, I love life, I enjoy my family and friends. God has really blessed me with many.

I now know what my divine purpose is(that is Empowering Children) and with God’s help and the support from my husband, my family and friends,I am fulfilling my purpose. 

I take the best of the women I admire and see what can make me a better person. There are many women I admire. Michele Obama tops the list and my mom who is a very unassuming wise woman.

Actually there’s lots more but..ah I think I should shut up now.

Hit Reply and tell me: WHO IS THE BEST YOU?

Just, what’s on your child’s mind? … Do you have a clue??

On Monday night I had a heart tugging experience with Joel my 3 year old son. Usually when its Joel’s bedtime (other terms for Joel’s bedtime … The LATE Night show – “The Battle of wills”. Sleep is a concept). I will read him a story, pray with him and/or read a prayer from his favourite book , Prayers for School Days.  http://tinyurl.com/mtj5km

Thank you, thank you, just hold the applause a bit!!

I must confess usually I hope he goes for a short story because I am tired. Naturally he wants me to read a long story or sometimes two (groan)… Anything to postpone sleep.

Well, we agreed on a story and then he asked for his prayer book. I  told him I  would read all topics and then he was to choose which one we should read together.

To my surprise he  said read “The class bully” I calmly turned to page10 of   Prayers for Schools Days(http://tinyurl.com/mtj5km)  and I said to him “well … in order to read this prayer you have to say the name of the bully”. Joel said “OK.mommy” and actually told me the name to insert.  Interestingly enough  wherever in the prayer it said “us” or “we” ,instead of repeating what I said he inserted “Joel” or the word “ me”..

Hmmm. I thought to myself.  Friends the  bully is an older child , who tends to say a lot of mean things to him. The day before I had actually overheard the child call him a LOSER and he later came to me very upset and asked me if he was a loser. I tried to reassure him that he is a winner,  a great guy, a champion( POSITIVE AFFIRMATION  friends.)

The fact that he wanted this prayer was instructive.. It still was on his mind. After we read from Prayers for School Days , I suggested to him that  he should say a special prayer to tell God thanks for a fun day and to bring daddy home safely. I told him he should always tell God thanks and not just ask  Him for things.

He interrupted me and said “wait mommy wait. I have to tell God something”. I said “sure son, go ahead”. This was Joel’s prayer:

“Dear God, Can you tell **___________ to stop being mean to me. **____is always mean to me.**______ called me a loser and that’s not nice. I only want to play with him/her. But she/he calls me a dodo head , and girl and lots of lots of mean things. God let **___stop it please. Amen.”

WOW, my heart went out to him and I must admit I was quite upset.

I told him however  that God answers prayers and he is a winner and a champion, Number One. (I deliberately kept on the positive. I did not use word loser i.e. I refused to say you are not a loser, As I feel saying the negative word would just reinforce the negative feeling) .He won’t let **____ be mean to him anymore. At that point he smiled, kissed me and said “Good night Mommy”.

OK. so  I am holding back the tears.

TODAY’S TEACHING POINTS:
• Spend quality time with you kids – A lot is revealed
• Pray with them and more importantly teach them to pray for themselves

• Don’t judge the parent or the child who wronged yours -Not all behaviour is reflective of the child’s home environment.  School, T.V. you name it can be the influence – BE WATCHFUL

• If don’t have your copy of prayers for school days Get it now!!!

In Jamaica at The Kingston Bookshop, The Readers BookShop, The Treasure Chest, The e-Biz Centre Ltd and Bookland.  On The internet at  www.amazon.com (http://tinyurl.com/mtj5km) or  www.booksurge.com
**- Name left out to protect the other child’s identity